I am 2.5 years post menopause (having “crossed the menopause bridge at 48 3/4) and I’ve cut back on trying to do all the things too. It had taken over my life! I’ve been writing and speaking about perimenopause long before it was cool because I had a NP who was ahead of her time, so by the time it finally hit the algorithm I was like WHOA! 🤯 As someone who’s struggled with health and anxiety my whole life, the best thing I did was to turn down other voices, work with two people who knew me and my body, and then follow a simple protocol. I don’t follow any doctors or influencers save Dr Lisa Mosconi. I love to write about menopause and this age and stage as a becoming and unbecoming—not a competition for eating protein and trying to look 27. Great post! And oh gosh the 17 Magazine references!
Yessss I feel this deeply. Thank you for confirming. And thank you for your work (pre & post the craze!). I have tuned out the noise as well and focusing on my life’s work instead with my mentor 🔥🔥
Thank you for sharing and leading the way on these conversations! I felt this same the last couple months, trying to do 'all the things', no idea what is and isn't working. I scaled way back so I could really focus on doing a couple things well and be more intune in what is truly working for me.
Yesss, 💯! No one really knows what works and what doesn’t yet. We are in a ‘try it’ phase and it’s not one size fits all. Every woman is different. We really need to be gentle with ourselves and not make it another thing to beat ourselves up over. The most helpful thing for me so far has been the open conversations and community around this topic. Women talking to women. That’s how we’ll be perfect at this, supporting each other and sharing information.
So beautifully said, Julie. I’ve felt the same richer, more honest conversations unfolding here on Substack. I love that menopause is being talked about so openly now, and I’m especially grateful for the women (and a few men!) I’ve met here who want to talk about what we are becoming as much as what we are experiencing.
There’s a small part of me that wonders whether the commercialization of menopause can sometimes distract us from that deeper becoming. Grateful for this community of women navigating midlife with awareness and power.
Oh I feel this immensely. No one is talking about the becoming on all the meno-podcasts. I’m truly on a mission to change that this year. Say some prayers. My goal is my book 50 Not Finished makes it to the mainstream conversation! 🙏🏻📕
At around 47 I thought I was going mad, driving in my car and having to pull over whilst I worked out where I was going and why, anxiety for no reason, lying awake for hours in the wee small hours. Once I'd worked out what was going on I got HRT and things even out. I sat my husband down and asked him to watch some menopause documentaries with me so he understood what was going on, whilst my Mother sat in the sidelines saying, "oh you just get used to it". This is the Mother who didn't work, so could nap when she felt like it to catch up on sleep, who didn't have to manage a classroom full of teenage kids whilst going blank teaching a lesson you have been teaching for years. I'm lucky, no unpredictable hot sweats, just constant sweats I could dress predictably for. I eat a high fibre mostly vegetarian diet, focusing on peasant Mediterranean food, lots of olive oil, ferments and cheese and luckily my weight stays pretty stable and slim. Dexa scan shows my bones are still good, and although the gym is not my bag, humping wheelbarrows of olive logs, weeding and digging on the veg patch and taking the stairs when I can, practicing yoga and meditation, no alcohol for 5 years I can honestly say that I'm in the best shape mentally and physically in my life. I've spent my life being anti fashion, preferring clothes from the church jumble sale that no one else had, and I've never been a big media consumer, so luckily Im not one to compare myself to others.
I'm trying to think back to when I went through menopause about 25 years ago, and honestly, the only thing I remember are the night sweats and gaining weight. But I'm also a long time meditator, having begun the practice in the mid-70s during the TM craze (doing mostly a mindfulness meditation these days). That practice slowed down the aging process for me, so that at almost 76, I'm pretty healthy (on a vegan diet) and have been told I don't look my age (I also have the "Black don't crack" phenomenon working in my favor). And thanks to becoming allergic to gluten, I shed 25 pounds when I gave up eating it. I will say I need to move more as I've been too sedentary, but I don't want to lift weights. So I'm getting back into tai chi which I've studied and practiced on and off since the mid-80s and walking which I used to do almost religiously when I lived in DC.
Good luck with your menopause journey. My daughter, who will be 46 this year, is entering hers so reading your articles will help me understand her journey.
Very powerful piece, thanks for sharing! I hadn't looked at it like this before, but you're right, it's a repeat of puberty! I don't subscribe to any of it although I am on HRT. For me, purpose takes centre stage but my journey has been one of mental health struggles and so I now help others with the same. It's good to talk about our time of life and find perspective. But all these products, it's enough to make your head spin!
I’ve tuned out a lot of the menopause and perimenopause “stuff,” and now I know why - I was feeling like I was doing it wrong. It was too much to keep up with.
Women in my family lived into their 90s without all of this. While listening to your article, I had an aha about my mom and her going all in on all the things that Prevention magazine or other doctors recommended in that magazine. There is/was always a new superfood or seed to add. I definitely feel like I want to do it differently and my way. And I don’t want to buy into everything it’s exhausting.
Feeling VERY seen this morning. Thank you Julie. I am a Gemini 1/3 MG who has to devour all the content and gather information till my brain wants to explode. Perfectionist seems too nice a word to describe this behavior and the menopause chapter has certainly fueled those wounds. Thank you for writing about this. You have inspired me to start writing too.
(And I hope to join Ignite Her University next year when I’m able, for now, I’m ordering your book today)
Oh I love this Jennifer!!! You sound exactly like me lol I’m not a 1/3 so for me as a 2/4 I need to be so passionate about it and then I have first line tendencies!! 😅😆
Loved this piece! such a helpful and grounding perspective. A great reminder to follow your own North Star and not get caught up in the noise….which can add to the stress and make things extra 😅
I am really grateful for this conversation and all the advances in this area. We have the opportunity to take better care of ourselves. My mother suffered so much as this was not talked about.
Same! My mom (72) has full blown osteoporosis (HRT was not given), my grandmother 94 is doing great (was on HRT). I have osteopenia so HRT is a God send.
I’ve been guiding midlife women privately for the past 30 years. Lots of NDAs signed with women who stood to lose their careers and livelihood. There is no perfect, one size fits all…but I know what works. And it’s NONE of the things on your instagram feed. I’ve got the data since 1995(well before I hit menopause myself.) It’s a combo Biology, embodied experience, couple of science degrees and an evolved framework. Here’s my soapbox 😉 IYKYK We’ve all got this.
Do you find any of those speaking about the menopause transition useful? I agree there is a lot of noise and it can be hard to find reliable sources - I was wondering whose voices you listen to.
My Mom said she had no hot flashes or any other signs or symptoms of menopause. Her periods stopped in her late 40’s. I’ll be 53 at the end of March. My Mirena IUD is due to be removed at the end of this year. I’ve had my IUD since age 36 and my periods stopped immediately with it. I really do hope I’m past menopause too!
I do think that men also go through a form of mAnopause because their testosterone levels decrease. I’d like to know what our men in here think.
My silent ailment is bone loss. It has no symptoms till too late and has the same mortality rate as breast cancer. So HRT is for that more than anything 🙏🏻. My understanding is andropause is later than menopause and SLOW decline in testosterone vs the sharp exist of hormones for us (which is what can cause all the havoc). My estrogen made a grab exit fast 🤣
I am 2.5 years post menopause (having “crossed the menopause bridge at 48 3/4) and I’ve cut back on trying to do all the things too. It had taken over my life! I’ve been writing and speaking about perimenopause long before it was cool because I had a NP who was ahead of her time, so by the time it finally hit the algorithm I was like WHOA! 🤯 As someone who’s struggled with health and anxiety my whole life, the best thing I did was to turn down other voices, work with two people who knew me and my body, and then follow a simple protocol. I don’t follow any doctors or influencers save Dr Lisa Mosconi. I love to write about menopause and this age and stage as a becoming and unbecoming—not a competition for eating protein and trying to look 27. Great post! And oh gosh the 17 Magazine references!
Yessss I feel this deeply. Thank you for confirming. And thank you for your work (pre & post the craze!). I have tuned out the noise as well and focusing on my life’s work instead with my mentor 🔥🔥
Thank you for sharing and leading the way on these conversations! I felt this same the last couple months, trying to do 'all the things', no idea what is and isn't working. I scaled way back so I could really focus on doing a couple things well and be more intune in what is truly working for me.
I love that awareness. I’m trying to spend more time over here and way less time in Instagram or Facebook. It is a totally different energy.
Yesss, 💯! No one really knows what works and what doesn’t yet. We are in a ‘try it’ phase and it’s not one size fits all. Every woman is different. We really need to be gentle with ourselves and not make it another thing to beat ourselves up over. The most helpful thing for me so far has been the open conversations and community around this topic. Women talking to women. That’s how we’ll be perfect at this, supporting each other and sharing information.
💯 which is why I love to be here on Substack. 🔥 I looooveeee that there are no ads or top content creators winning the algorithm. Sooo refreshing
So beautifully said, Julie. I’ve felt the same richer, more honest conversations unfolding here on Substack. I love that menopause is being talked about so openly now, and I’m especially grateful for the women (and a few men!) I’ve met here who want to talk about what we are becoming as much as what we are experiencing.
There’s a small part of me that wonders whether the commercialization of menopause can sometimes distract us from that deeper becoming. Grateful for this community of women navigating midlife with awareness and power.
Oh I feel this immensely. No one is talking about the becoming on all the meno-podcasts. I’m truly on a mission to change that this year. Say some prayers. My goal is my book 50 Not Finished makes it to the mainstream conversation! 🙏🏻📕
At around 47 I thought I was going mad, driving in my car and having to pull over whilst I worked out where I was going and why, anxiety for no reason, lying awake for hours in the wee small hours. Once I'd worked out what was going on I got HRT and things even out. I sat my husband down and asked him to watch some menopause documentaries with me so he understood what was going on, whilst my Mother sat in the sidelines saying, "oh you just get used to it". This is the Mother who didn't work, so could nap when she felt like it to catch up on sleep, who didn't have to manage a classroom full of teenage kids whilst going blank teaching a lesson you have been teaching for years. I'm lucky, no unpredictable hot sweats, just constant sweats I could dress predictably for. I eat a high fibre mostly vegetarian diet, focusing on peasant Mediterranean food, lots of olive oil, ferments and cheese and luckily my weight stays pretty stable and slim. Dexa scan shows my bones are still good, and although the gym is not my bag, humping wheelbarrows of olive logs, weeding and digging on the veg patch and taking the stairs when I can, practicing yoga and meditation, no alcohol for 5 years I can honestly say that I'm in the best shape mentally and physically in my life. I've spent my life being anti fashion, preferring clothes from the church jumble sale that no one else had, and I've never been a big media consumer, so luckily Im not one to compare myself to others.
Thank you for this beautiful share. The anxiety has been a real big one for me in this journey. The HRT has helped thank God! Love your convictions ♥️
I'm trying to think back to when I went through menopause about 25 years ago, and honestly, the only thing I remember are the night sweats and gaining weight. But I'm also a long time meditator, having begun the practice in the mid-70s during the TM craze (doing mostly a mindfulness meditation these days). That practice slowed down the aging process for me, so that at almost 76, I'm pretty healthy (on a vegan diet) and have been told I don't look my age (I also have the "Black don't crack" phenomenon working in my favor). And thanks to becoming allergic to gluten, I shed 25 pounds when I gave up eating it. I will say I need to move more as I've been too sedentary, but I don't want to lift weights. So I'm getting back into tai chi which I've studied and practiced on and off since the mid-80s and walking which I used to do almost religiously when I lived in DC.
Good luck with your menopause journey. My daughter, who will be 46 this year, is entering hers so reading your articles will help me understand her journey.
Thank you for this beautiful share! Tai Chi sounds amazing. I have never tried it. Your daughter is blessed to have you ♥️
Very powerful piece, thanks for sharing! I hadn't looked at it like this before, but you're right, it's a repeat of puberty! I don't subscribe to any of it although I am on HRT. For me, purpose takes centre stage but my journey has been one of mental health struggles and so I now help others with the same. It's good to talk about our time of life and find perspective. But all these products, it's enough to make your head spin!
Absolutely! Love the work you are doing and it’s so refreshing to be in these deeper conversations ♥️
Wow you’re so right. I loved Sassy magazine!
I’ve tuned out a lot of the menopause and perimenopause “stuff,” and now I know why - I was feeling like I was doing it wrong. It was too much to keep up with.
Women in my family lived into their 90s without all of this. While listening to your article, I had an aha about my mom and her going all in on all the things that Prevention magazine or other doctors recommended in that magazine. There is/was always a new superfood or seed to add. I definitely feel like I want to do it differently and my way. And I don’t want to buy into everything it’s exhausting.
OMG my mom was all things Prevention magazine too!!!!!
Feeling VERY seen this morning. Thank you Julie. I am a Gemini 1/3 MG who has to devour all the content and gather information till my brain wants to explode. Perfectionist seems too nice a word to describe this behavior and the menopause chapter has certainly fueled those wounds. Thank you for writing about this. You have inspired me to start writing too.
(And I hope to join Ignite Her University next year when I’m able, for now, I’m ordering your book today)
Oh I love this Jennifer!!! You sound exactly like me lol I’m not a 1/3 so for me as a 2/4 I need to be so passionate about it and then I have first line tendencies!! 😅😆
Thank you for sharing your insight. Great article. I'm looking to connect to more of this as I age 😀 I'm looking to have my best chapter of life ever.
Yesssss. It’s been the biggest surprise!
Loved this piece! such a helpful and grounding perspective. A great reminder to follow your own North Star and not get caught up in the noise….which can add to the stress and make things extra 😅
So glad it resonated! We are all new at this. Even the experts. This is very grounding for me!
Thank you for this. Exactly what I’m trying to share with women. Let’s be kinder and softer and not so many rules!
Every stage of a woman’s life….the rules and who is winning. Feels good to just call it all out and then focus on what really matters!
I am really grateful for this conversation and all the advances in this area. We have the opportunity to take better care of ourselves. My mother suffered so much as this was not talked about.
Same! My mom (72) has full blown osteoporosis (HRT was not given), my grandmother 94 is doing great (was on HRT). I have osteopenia so HRT is a God send.
I’ve got you! Come to my side Julie!
I’ve been guiding midlife women privately for the past 30 years. Lots of NDAs signed with women who stood to lose their careers and livelihood. There is no perfect, one size fits all…but I know what works. And it’s NONE of the things on your instagram feed. I’ve got the data since 1995(well before I hit menopause myself.) It’s a combo Biology, embodied experience, couple of science degrees and an evolved framework. Here’s my soapbox 😉 IYKYK We’ve all got this.
Do you find any of those speaking about the menopause transition useful? I agree there is a lot of noise and it can be hard to find reliable sources - I was wondering whose voices you listen to.
I have cut it all out for now. I listened to too many. I have a plan and sticking to it.
I’m 💯 focused on working with my mentor on my legacy work and bringing my book 50 Not Finished out in a big way with a relaunch this year. 🔥🚀
My Mom said she had no hot flashes or any other signs or symptoms of menopause. Her periods stopped in her late 40’s. I’ll be 53 at the end of March. My Mirena IUD is due to be removed at the end of this year. I’ve had my IUD since age 36 and my periods stopped immediately with it. I really do hope I’m past menopause too!
I do think that men also go through a form of mAnopause because their testosterone levels decrease. I’d like to know what our men in here think.
My silent ailment is bone loss. It has no symptoms till too late and has the same mortality rate as breast cancer. So HRT is for that more than anything 🙏🏻. My understanding is andropause is later than menopause and SLOW decline in testosterone vs the sharp exist of hormones for us (which is what can cause all the havoc). My estrogen made a grab exit fast 🤣